


When Cherries Are in Bloom

by Papillon87



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Historical, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Just go with the flow - this one is difficult to tag, M/M, Secret Relationship, Time Skips because you know I love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Papillon87/pseuds/Papillon87
Summary: There was a stranger lying in the ditch behind Dongmin’s house.‘Bollocks!’He lay, sprawled, in a shallow trench running alongside the wide mud track, which curved around the vast expanse of the Lee family estate and led to the village.Sitting atop the high brick wall that encircled their back garden, Dongmin stared, quite unsure what to do.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin
Comments: 27
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

The branches of the old oak tree were a dense canopy above his head, swaying gently in the wind.

With his eyes closed, Dongmin let the breeze stroke his face.

He will be here soon.

‘Grandfather?’

The cherries will be blooming soon and then Bin will come.

‘Grandfather!’

The clear, high-pitched voice didn’t belong and Dongmin frowned in annoyance.

‘What is it?’

A small chubby hand tugged at his hanbok, pulled at the blanket spread over his knees.

‘Grandfather, can you tell me a story?’

The big eyes looking at him from the girl’s young round face were pleading. ‘I want a story, Grandfather.’

‘A good girl doesn’t say ‘I want this and I want that’, child,’ he frowned. ‘You should say please-‘

He knew that he was supposed to know her name.

His brain felt like a big empty vessel, only rolling waves of soft fog inside – but her name was there somewhere, escaping like a slippery eel, one of those that were sold on the local fish market every Tuesday.

He should know. The name was there, ready to leap off his tongue - and yet he couldn’t.

He couldn’t find it.

Dongmin angrily smoothed down the woollen blanket that covered his knees. The fabric felt familiar under his shaking fingers. He was certain he had seen the pattern before - he remembered it in a room, bright and spacious, light streaming in through the windows and tiny specks of dust dancing in the air. Was it his house?

‘Grandfather?’

She tugged at his hand, more impatient now. ‘Can you tell me a story, please? Please? The one about the prince who fell off his horse? Please?’

Bin’s face under the falling cherry blossoms.

‘Please?’

‘Alright, alright,’ conceded Dongmin grudgingly, patting the girl’s head.

Somehow it felt like wading through thick water, his mind heavy, as he dragged his eyes from Bin’s lips, from to curve of his cheekbones, back to the girl and her entranced gaze.

‘There was a young prince,’ Dongmin started, his trembling hand gripping the walking stick propped against his chair, ‘and one day, he took his horse and ran away. Away from the castle, away from the King and the Queen, away from home.’

‘Why did he run away?’

‘Hmm,’ Dongmin pondered. ‘I think he had a row about something, maybe with his teachers – even a prince needs to learn – and he got angry and ran away.’

‘And?’

The little girl inched closer, pressing her elbows into his legs and resting her chin in her hands. ‘What happened then?’

‘You see, there was this big, scary dragon, lurking in the mountains above the city where the prince lived. People feared the beast and no one dared to venture too close to the forest at the foot of the mountain where – the rumour had it – the dragon had built its nest.’

The girl’s eyes grew large. ‘What about the prince? Did he get too close?’

Dongmin stroke the child’s hair. ‘Yes, he did, Jisoo. The foolish prince did get too close.’

Jisoo.

An absurd sense of pride flooded his chest when he remembered.

Jisoo, his great-granddaughter.

‘What happened to him, Grandfather?’

……………………….

_‘Bugger!’_

_There was a stranger lying in the ditch behind Dongmin’s house._

_‘Bollocks!’_

_He lay, sprawled, in a shallow trench running alongside the wide mud track, which curved around the vast expanse of the Lee family estate and led to the village._

_Sitting atop the high brick wall that encircled their back garden, Dongmin stared, quite unsure what to do._

_A horse - the reason for the stranger’s misfortune - was galloping away, a cloud of dust rising under its thundering hooves._

_The boy in the ditch made a feeble attempt at getting up but sank back with a loud groan. ‘Shit!’_

_Dongmin tore his gaze away from the horse disappearing around the bend and reluctantly jumped off the wall where he had been sitting for the last hour, reading or watching the endless cherry orchards across the road that, at this time of the year, looked like the most delicate lace of a bride’s veil._

_‘Are you alright?’_

_Landing on a narrow strip of grass with a practiced ease, Dongmin gripped the leather cover of his book as the stranger pierced him with a hateful stare._

_‘Do I look like I’m fucking alright?’_

_‘I… I wouldn’t put any weight on your foot,’ Dongmin gestured weakly as the boy got up, with wobbly knees and panting from exertion. ‘You could have sprained your ankle. Or broken something.’_

_‘And who are you to offer your advice so freely?’_

_Judging by the way the boy’s fingers dug into the bark of the nearest cherry tree, he must have been in pain._

_‘My… I live here,’ Dongmin pointed over his shoulder towards the house behind him. ‘My father is a physician and I have finished my studies and now work with him as his apprentice. I have seen quite a few sprains and broken bones by now.’_

_‘Well then,’ the anger seemed to have seeped out of the boy’s voice and he suddenly sounded much younger. Younger and fragile, like a glass ornament, ready to be shattered at any moment, even if he tried to cover it with sarcasm. ‘What would your advice be, Doctor?’_

_‘I… I’m not a doctor, just Dongmin,’ he felt his face heat up, ‘and you should come with me. My father will be able to help you.’_

_‘No!’ the boy’s voice flared in terror but he checked himself and offered a clumsy bow. ‘Thank you but there is no need for that. I’m quite alright, I don’t need any help! I’m absolutely fine! There is nothing wrong with my foot; I’m-’_

_Dongmin had a feeling he was holding the reins of a panicked horse. He took a step away, raising his hands in mock surrender._

_‘Fine, calm down. I am not going to take you anywhere. You can stay here.’_

_‘And you are not going to call your father?’_

_‘No,’ Dongmin shook his head. ‘I can't force you to accept any treatment if you don’t want to.’_

_The tension in the boy’s face lessened, his knotted brows smoothening. ‘Alright.’_

_‘Alright.’_

_For a while, they stared at each other mutely. The balmy breeze was tugging at the branches above their heads and showering them in a snowfall of cherry blossoms._

_‘Can I,’ Dongmin cleared his throat awkwardly, ‘can I have a look at your ankle?’_

_The boys hesitantly shifted his weight but hissed in pain when trying to stand upright._

_Instinctively, Dongmin rushed forward and grabbed him by his arms. ‘Don’t do that! If it’s broken, you should not be putting any weight on it!’_

_‘Oh, bollocks,’ the boy wailed suddenly. ‘Not broken, not that! I can't afford to-‘_

_‘Stop moaning and let me a have a look!’_

_Something in Dongmin’s gaze must have commanded respect because the boy deflated and nodded without a word._

_Dongmin helped him to sit down and carefully pulled off his riding boot. He could see the process was painful but the boy bit his tongue and endured it without protest._

_No bones were broken, established Dongmin with a sigh of relief, as he examined the boy’s ankle, making sure his touch was as gentle as possible._

_‘It’s only a sprain,’ he smiled. ‘You were lucky.’_

_‘I wouldn’t call it lucky,’ the boy hung his head. ‘I would hear no end of it when I get back home.’_

_‘About that,’ Dongmin gulped. ‘I know you said you didn’t want my father to help – but you can't ride home like this. You need to rest and to keep your foot raised for at least a bit.’_

_He hesitated, unsure how the stranger would react. ‘I… I could to bring you something for the swelling. You wouldn’t need to come inside.’_

_After an agonisingly long pause, the boy nodded mutely and Dongmin watched how he bit his lip, trying not to cry out in pain, as he shifted on the hard ground._

_‘Oh, do you want me to help you-?’_

_‘I’m fine, I'm not a child,’ the boy shrunk away from him._

_Dongmin’s hands fell away. ‘Alright. Stay here, I won’t be a minute.’_

_When he came back, he was surprised to see the boy standing by the gate. He was stroking his horse, rubbing his face against its thick mane, talking in soft whispers._

_Dongmin almost backed away, not wanting to interrupt the moment but the mare, a tall beast with long legs and intelligent gaze sensed his presence and the boy lifted his head._

_‘Your… Your horse is back,’ stammered Dongmin, feeling rather stupid._

_‘Yes, she is.’_

_The boy’s smile transformed his face, brightening it like the sun breaking through the clouds._

_‘Sunshine. That’s her name.’_

_Dongmin watched the boy’s hands running over Sunshine’s body, the tenderness with which he scrutinised the horse, looking for injuries. When not directing his anger at Dongmin, he seemed softer, with eyes that creased into cute crescents and a voice that sounded young and sweet as he whispered silly nonsense to the mare._

_He put down the pail with water he was holding. ‘Has she cooled down?’_

_‘Yeah. Must have been walking around for a bit on her own.’_

_‘You are really lucky. You could have lost her – she is beautiful; someone could have snatched her.’_

_‘Shut up; you don’t need to remind me.’_

_‘Dongmin swallowed down an angry retort, silenced by the sight of the boy standing on shaky legs but clinging to his horse like to a lifeline._

_‘You should probably sit down,’ he shuffled his feet awkwardly. ‘We need to take care of your ankle. It will swell up more.’_

_‘But I need to take care of Sunshine.’_

_‘I… I can do that,’ offered Dongmin hastily, despite a stubborn look of on boy’s face._

_‘Please, sit down. You need a cold compress for the swelling. Look, I have brought water. It was supposed to be for the cold compress but Sunshine can drink it and I will bring more. And I’ll go and bring brushes and everything. We have horses; I know how to take care of them. I will do it. You sit down.’_

_Bin watched him tersely, as if contemplating the offer, and finally nodded. ‘Fine.’_

_‘Fine,’ Dongmin breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Fine. I will get everything. Wait here; don’t go anywhere.’_

_Only when he was inside, did it occur to Dongmin that his last words were rather stupid._

_A hot wave of mortification swept over him but he pushed the uncomfortable feeling away and headed for the stables._

_…………………….._

_‘What is it?’ Bin watched two large wooden pails Dongmin was holding as he pushed the back gate open._

_Dongmin grunted and set them on the soft grass outside. He closed the gate quietly behind him, making sure it didn’t creak._

_Seeing Bin’s raised eyebrows, he shrugged lightly._

_‘It’s more water for your horse. And some oats. That poor animal needs to get you back home tonight.’_

_‘Oh,’ Bin gulped, frowning. ‘You didn’t need to do that.’_

_Dongmin laughed and set both pails in front of Bin’s mare. ‘Don’t be stupid.’_

_‘I’m not stupid, I… I just don’t want to be a bother. What are you doing?’_

_Dongmin took off a cloth bag he had slung over his shoulder. ‘I did promise to take care of her.’_

_Out of the bag he took a curry comb and a brush._

_‘I… I can do that,’ Bin made a noise of protest._

_‘You should sit down and keep that foot rested,’ Dongmin frowned. ‘I’ll do it.’_

_He set to work, combed and brushed, trying to do his best under Bin’s anxious gaze. Remembering Bin’s soft voice, he talked to Sunshine, sweet murmurs and nonsense words, the way he talked to his horses, and gradually he saw them calming down, both the boy and his mare._

…………………..….

‘Did the dragon eat the prince?’

‘The dragon charged out of his cave,’ Dongmin lowered his voice, enjoying Jisoo’s eyes, as wide as saucers. ‘The flames coming out of his mouth almost licked at the prince’s hat!

Jisoo gasped.

‘But the prince,’ Dongmin paused dramatically, ‘as foolish as he might have been, had a great horse. One of the best in the royal stables. And when the dragon attacked, his horse charged forward, racing desperately away, away from the flames, away from the danger!

He smiled at Jisoo. ‘That day, his great horse saved the prince’s life and they both managed to get away.’

………..………………

_‘Happy?’_

_Tied to one of the gateposts, the boy’s horse looked much better, its hair glossy and smooth. Dongmin had brought another pail of water after the mare finished off the first one with alarming speed._

_‘Thank you,’ the boy bowed his head and got up clumsily. ‘I should probably make my way back.’_

_‘No!’ breathed Dongmin in panic. ‘You need to rest your foot for a bit more.’_

_The boy gulped down uneasily, Dongmin could see his Adam’s apple bobbing up_ _and down. ‘I … I need to get back. I have a… a rather important day tomorrow.’_

_‘Where do you live?’_

_‘In Hanyang.’_

_‘You are mad,’ whispered Dongmin harshly. ‘Your foot will be swollen like a balloon by the time you get back to the capital!’_

_‘I need to get back!’ hissed the boy. ‘You have no idea, you know nothing about my life-‘_

_He cut off abruptly as a cart appeared around the bend._

_Dongmin bowed. It was Mr Kim, their neighbour, sitting ramrod straight and holding the reins with a weary expression. He curtly nodded his head, giving them both a quick, appraising look._

_Dongmin noticed that the boy bowed down low, much lower than was needed, almost folding in half._

_Once the cart disappeared and they both straightened up, Dongmin tried again._

_‘Please. Come in, you can rest your leg before you head back home. My father is still working but you didn’t want to meet him anyway. So it will be just me and my mother. I’m sure my mother will be delighted to converse with you about the life in Hanyang while you’re resting your foot.. She follows everything, politics, society news-‘_

_The boy paled in front of his eyes._

_‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘No, no, no, no-‘_

_‘Stop!’ Dongmin grabbed his arm. ‘Stop that!’_

_‘What?’_

_‘You need to calm down.’_

_The boy recoiled and wrenched his arm out of Dongmin’s grip. ‘Leave me alone! You know nothing about me; don’t you dare to tell me to calm down! You know nothing about my life!’_

_‘That’s not true. I know things about you.’_

_‘What?’_

_The fight seemed to have gone out of the boy and he deflated, leaning against the garden wall._

_Dongmin wrung his fingers, not looking up. ‘I… I know who you are.’_

_‘What?’_

_‘I know who you are.’_

_‘Are you making fun of me?’_

_‘No,’ Dongmin shook his head slowly. ‘You are Moon Bin, the only son of the Chief State Councillor.’_

_‘What?_

_The boy looked as if a rug was snatched from under his feet._

_‘I know it’s you,’ Dongmin shrugged, feeling uncomfortable under the boy’s thunderous gaze. ‘That’s why you’re so nervous – you shouldn’t be here at all. Everybody is talking about you; it’s your wedding tomorrow. My aunt lives in Hanyang; she is married to the deputy Minister of Defence and every time she comes to visit my mum wants to hear all the gossip-‘_

_‘Your aunt is - What?’_

_Dongmin chuckled a little. ‘You know, if I didn’t know that you are considered the rising star of the Ministry - my aunt said the Deputy Minister Cha sings high praises about you – if I didn’t know all of this, I would think you rather – ‘_

_‘Stupid?’_

_‘Well - no. But… You seems so… What’s wrong with you?’_

_‘Nothing! Nothing is wrong with me! Leave me alone! And how do you even know mu name?’_

_‘It’s carved into your saddle. I… I noticed it when I was grooming Sunshine.’_

_‘Oh.’_

_Bin’s cheeks turned bright pink. ‘I did it when I was younger.’_

_‘So what are you doing here? On the night before your wedding?’_

_‘I- I don’t know,’ whispered Bin harshly, anger twisted his features. ‘I needed to get away from the whole circus today. But it seems that even in a middle of nowhere, people have nothing better to do than talking about my upcoming nuptials.’_

_Dongmin watched in horror as Bin spun around and started hobbling away, as fast as the injured ankle would allow him, deeper into the rows of cherries._

_‘Wait! What are you doing? You are making it worse!’_

_‘Leave me alone!’ Bin didn’t slow down, ignoring Dongmin’s appalled cry._

_For someone with a sprained ankle, he was moving at a surprising speed but it was an uneven race._

_‘Stop, for God’s sake!’ Dongmin managed to grab his sleeve and brought them both to a halt. ‘Stop. Please.’_

_He lowered his voice, not quite looking into Bin’s eyes. ‘Please, Moon Bin-ssi. Sit down. You will hurt your foot more if you keep running like this. You really don’t need that tomorrow.’_

_Hearing his own name from Dongmin’s lips seemed to have taken the wind out of Bin’s sails._

_‘Can you help me sit down, please?’ he mumbled miserably._

_Dongmin watched his face contorting in pain that now, after the brief flash of anger, must have been returning in full force._

_He looked around. They had ventured further than he realised, deep into middle of the orchard._

_‘Of course,’ he gulped uneasily and, hesitantly, would his arms around Bin’s waist. ‘Hold onto me. Careful.’_

_He lowered him gently to the ground and Bin leaned against the nearest trunk, lips pale._

_‘Thank you,’ he muttered with his head low._

_‘That was a really stupid idea,’ chided Dongmin._

_Bin didn’t offer an angry retort, didn’t looked up, and Dongmin shuffled uncomfortably, not sure what to do next._

_‘I… I will walk back and bring… the bandages.’_

_‘You don’t need to do that,’ snapped Bin but Dongmin could see his steam was running out._

_‘Don’t be silly,’ he smiled at Bin’s knitted brows, felling his confidence growing. ‘You wait here and I will get everything.’_

_Ignoring Bin, mouth already opening in protest, he threw him one last smile over his shoulder. ‘Don’t try running again.’_

……………….………

_Heading back for the orchard, weighed down by a pail filled with fresh water drawn from the well and a sizeable bundle under his arm, he could feel his heart race more frantically with every step he took._

_There had not been many exciting moments in the life of Lee Dongmin. His days consisted mainly of studying, helping his father in his practice and behaving impeccably, the way the only son of the village physician Lee Jaehwan was expected to behave._

_Exciting things only happened in books. Beautiful boys falling off horses right in front of his feet only happened in dreams._

_As Dongmin shifted the pail in his hand, cursing because some of the cold water sloshed over his feet, he had an exhilarating feeling that, for once, something out of ordinary happened to him for real._

_He could see Bin form the distance, sitting in the exact position he had left him earlier._

_Although he wasn’t able to see, the feeling that Bin was watching his every step was making his cheeks burn._

_Trying not to show how heavy the bucket was becoming - it seemed his big day of adventures so far mainly consisted of him carrying buckets of water - he did his best to walk as straight as he could._

_Bin was indeed watching him, his expression inscrutable._

_Careful not to spill any more water, Dongmin put down the bucket and dumped the bundle on the grass next to Bin’s outstretched legs._

_‘What’s that?’ Bin eyed the soft woollen fabric._

_Dongmin unfurled it quickly and took out a roll of bandages and a tub of ointment. ‘A blanket, so you can rest more comfortably. And a cushion to elevate your leg.’_

_Bin snorted. ‘I’m not a weak girl, you didn’t need to do that!’_

_Dongmin cast him a cold look. ‘Do you think girls and women weak?’_

_Bin’s brows furrowed. ‘What?’_

_‘Have you seen one giving birth?’_

_Bin stared at him, moth agape. ‘Well… No? What does it have to do with anything?’_

_‘A lot,’ Dongmin shrugged and spread the blanket on the soft grass. ‘I bet you have no idea how children are born.’_

_Ignoring Bin’s angry look, he threw some of the bandages into the pail. ‘I helped with a couple of childbirths – not the ones that went smoothly, we are not needed then, only a midwife - but I can tell you, there is nothing weak about women.’_

_Smoothing out the edges, he motioned towards the blanket. ‘Scoot over.’_

_‘What for?’ gulped Bin. ‘I’m fine here.’_

_‘Scared like a little girl?’ Dongmin raised his eyebrows sarcastically._

_‘I’m not!’_

_‘Well then,’ Dongmin cocked his head, looking pointedly at the blanket._

_When Bin wasn’t moving, he softened. ‘You need to lie down and keep your foot raised. The grass might look soft and tempting but there will be ants all over you fairly soon. Come on,’ he reached for Bin’s hand and pulled him a little, ‘get over there and lie down. It will help with the swelling. You really don’t have much time before tomorrow.’_

_At Dongmin’s mention of the wedding Bin’s face stiffened, like grass on a winter morning, crusted over with a layer of frost. He shuffled over wordlessly and lied down, staring at the white cloud of flowers above his head._

_Dongmin ignored him. Out if his pocket, he took a couple of bandages and flung them in the bucket of water, then turned to Bin again._

_‘Alright,’ he sighed, ‘I will take off your boot now. Tell me if I’m hurting you.’_

_Bin bit into his lower lip and endured the procedure without a sound._

_‘There,’ smiled Dongmin. ‘The worst part is over.’_

_He pulled down Bin’s sock and gently examined the ankle. ‘Does this hurt?’_

_He watched Bin’s expression as his hands carried on, trying to cause as little pain as possible._

_The set line of Bin’s jaw told him it hurt but the examination didn’t reveal any more nasty surprises. ‘It seems fine. It’s swollen a bit more - your foolish attempt at running didn’t help – but otherwise no changes. Let’s make you comfortable.’_

_He shoved the cushion under Bin’s foot and opened the tub. ‘This should help with the swelling. I need to rub it in but I will try not to hurt you.’_

_It probably did hurt – judging by the way how hard Bin was chewing on his lip – but Dongmin carried on, massaging the skin slowly, and tried to ignore the dangerous sparks of excitement._

_Surely he shouldn’t be feeling anything but a concern for his patient right now - not having a suspiciously elevated heart rate and tingling fingertips just because he was touching someone’s ankle._

_He will be a useless doctor._

_‘There, done.’_

_Dongmin let go of Bin’s foot and turned away hastily. He busied himself with the bandages, pulling them out of the pail and wringing them gently. He placed them on the swelling, making sure they covered the whole ankle, ignoring the trickling droplets that were soaking up the pretty brocade cushion under Bin’s foot._

_Bin hissed at the cold touch. ‘That’s… Wow, that’s really cold.’_

_Dongmin smiled a little. ‘Our well is the deepest in the village. The water from it is always really cold, even in the middle of summer.’_

_Bin’s eyes didn’t move, trained at the cherry blossoms above._

_‘So… What are you doing here, Moon Bin-ssi, one day before your wedding?’_

_‘I… That’s none of your business.’_

_Dongmin looked away, feeling a stab of annoyance. ‘Suit yourself.’_

_For a while, they both lay on their backs, watching the blossoms above their heads._

_When Bin turned on his side, Dongmin stubbornly kept his gaze pointed at the puffy clouds of whiteness above, even if he felt Bin’s eyes on him._

_Finally, he couldn’t bear it any longer. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’_

_‘I don’t know,’ Bin’s eyes creased in a smile that made Dongmin’s stomach flip. ‘You are beautiful.’_

_Dongmin reddened. ‘Why are you saying things like that?’_

_Bin smiled again, unperturbed. ‘Why not? This is a strange day - everything feels unreal. And I guess if I’m dreaming all of this I might as well say what I’m thinking right now.’_

_‘I… I don’t know. You are getting married tomorrow,’ Dongmin’s head was beginning to spin. ‘Shouldn’t you be telling me about your bride, about her sparkling eyes or rosy cheeks and how you love her?’_

_He reddened even more under Bin’s unmoving gaze. ‘You know… something like that. About how beautiful she is.’_

_‘You are more beautiful.’_

_Dongmin pulled away a little, ears burning. ‘That’s wrong! That’s a wrong thing to say! You should not say such words when your betrothed is waiting for you.’_

_Bin’s look grew cold. ‘My bride was chosen for me by my parents and we don’t really know each other. Our families need the bond – ours have the influence and would like me to produce an heir soon and theirs have the money but no son. Beauty or silly things like that have nothing to do with my marriage or me or anything at all.’_

_‘Oh.’_

_‘What? Whom do you think you will marry? A woman that you like and you choose yourself? Don’t be a fool.’_

_Bin’s voice was bitter._

_Dongmin felt his throat tightening. ‘I… I haven’t thought about it much. I am not really interested in girls.’_

_‘Don’t tell me you never liked anyone. Ever?’_

_‘I…,’ Dongmin’s face was on fire. ‘I liked someone once but…’_

_He stopped himself. The memory was a dangerous one; even thinking about it too much seemed risky._

_‘Tell me,’ Bin prepped himself on one elbow, a mischievous grin transforming his face. ‘Was she pretty?’_

_Dongmin’s cheeks burned but he held Bin’s gaze defiantly, with his head high. ‘He was beautiful.’_

_Bin’s eyes changed abruptly, a sad glint replacing the teasing smirk. ‘I am sorry.'_

_‘You don’t need to say sorry. You don’t need to say anything at all,’ Dongmin swallowed hard. ‘You have no idea what I am talking about; no idea how I feel.’_

_Bin stilled. When he reached for Bin’s hand there was something infinitely tender in the way he stroked his fingers._

_‘I know exactly how you feel,’ he said quietly, not a trace of mockery in his voice._

_They both sank back onto the blanket and watched the swaying branches above their heads. When Bin’s hand found his, Dongmin didn’t pull away._


	2. Chapter 2

‘ _Have you ever wanted to run away?’_

_The cherry blossoms above Dongmin and Bin’s heads were swaying in the breeze, showering them in soft petals._

_In two days the splendour will be gone - Dongmin knew that - but right now their beauty was exquisite._

_He softly squeezed Bin’s fingers and chuckled. ‘What do you think? Of course I have. Doesn’t everyone want to run away sometimes?’_

_‘Why?’ Bin didn’t move, his voice soft. ‘Everything here looks so… peaceful. Nice. You look, I don’t know, happy.’_

_Dongmin’s smile turned bitter. ‘Of course I do. The Lee family is very good at pretending their lives are perfect.’_

_He could feel Bin next to him shifting uneasily. ‘What do you mean?’_

_‘Hm,’ he turned on his side and watched Bin’s profile. ‘I truly have everything - wealthy parents, a bright future as a doctor, my looks – everything I could wish for. There will be no shortage of brides for my family to pick from when the time comes for me to marry. In exchange for all that, my only duty is to fill the void in my father’s heart that has been there after the death of my older brother.’_

_‘Your brother?’ Bin turned to face him, smile disappearing from his eyes. ‘I am sorry to hear that. You must miss him.’_

_Dongmin shook his head. ‘I never knew him. He died before I was born, at the age of seventeen, together with his mother, my father’s first wife.’_

_‘I’m so sorry,’ whispered Bin._

_Dongmin shrugged. ‘You don’t need to be; he is a stranger to you.’_

_‘What happened to them?’_

_‘Flu,’ Dongmin looked away, not sure if he wanted certain memories to be revived – but they were pouring out now, like a river in spring, swollen with water after the snowy blankets in the mountains started melting._

_‘From what I’ve heard, my father was crazy with grief – he had loved his wife and son, they were everything to him – and for three years after their death he lived like a hermit. Eventually the family got worried and they somehow persuaded him to spend some time with his relatives in the capital.’_

_He shifted on the blanket, curling up into a ball. ‘That's how my father met my mother – she just turned eighteen – in the home of her older sister. She was there, confined to the house, as a punishment for trying to run away with her lover. The whole family had prevented the worst and helped to cover up the fiasco but some rumours had escaped and her reputation was ruined so she was there, binding her time, waiting for the gossip to die away so she could at least leave the house without being pointed at.'_

_‘Oh, wow,’ breathed Bin, not letting go of Dongmin’s fingers. ‘And I thought scandals and dramas only happened in my family.’_

_‘Don’t worry, my parents made sure we had plenty of those,’ laughed Dongmin darkly._

_‘What happened… between your parents?’_

_‘Oh, it started conventionally enough,’ Dongmin shifted, thankful for the closeness, for the warmth of Bin’s body, for something else to focus on. ‘My father fell in love with the beautiful girl with sad eyes he met at my aunt’s house and made a marriage proposal to her family straightaway, like an old fool he was. The family was delighted, of course; in her situation, my mother couldn’t afford to he picky and this was her chance to escape. A provincial doctor, wealthy and still good-looking, who didn’t mind her past too much, it was my mother’s way out, away from the shame and ostracism she would have faced for years to come for what she had done. And so the wedding was arranged. Afterwards, my parents moved back here and I was born a year after their wedding.’_

_Bin’s arm crept onto his shoulder and Dongmin pressed his cheek against Bin’s chest. ‘Since when I could remember I was always compared to my brother, told how great he was and what big shoes I had to fill in. There was a phase when I rebelled against it but eventually one learns to live with everything, I guess. It would have been no use anyway – no matter what I did, nothing was ever enough.’_

_Bin’s grip on his shoulder tightened. ‘What about your mother?’_

_Dongmin’s chest felt hollow as he laughed. ‘Oh, my mother was reminded too – daily – how grateful she should be that she was given the second chance and how she would have ended up with nothing if my father hadn’t rescued her.’_

_‘Oh,’ Bin stammered. ‘But… But you said your father loved her. Did he not?’_

_Dongmin snorted. ‘He was forty years old and she was eighteen when they married, after two months, I think, of knowing each other – I can count. How much do you think he truly loved her? Or how much she loved him?’_

_Bin pulled away a little. ‘How do you even know all this?'_

_Dongmin smiled at his shocked tone. ‘I found some old letters my aunt used to write to my mother, way back when I was born and she couldn’t travel to see her sister. I read them and filled in the gaps of what I had already guessed.’_

_‘Wouldn’t put you down as one who snoops in other people’s things,’ Bin pulled him closer. ‘You have truly shocked me, Dongmin-ssi.’_

_‘I don’t care,’ Dongmin said coldly, ignoring the teasing in Bin’s voice. ‘I just wanted to know. I just wanted to know why was it that my mum always used to miss her life in the capital so much and only looked alive when she was packing for her annual visit there. I wanted to know why my father always used to argue with her and go on about how ungrateful she was. And the rumours. Nothing concrete, just hints of disapproval about my father’s second marriage, endless subtle jibes about what a virtuos woman his first wife was and how everyone loved and missed her.’_

_Tears stung in his eyes and he buried his face in Bin’s hanbok. ‘Do you know why I am not helping my father today? Why I never help on Wednesdays, why I always have my ‘free’ day once a week? It’s because certain patients, the old families, the ones who were friends with his first wife, don’t want me to treat them; they don’t want to see my face in my father’s practice.’_

_‘What?’ whispered Bin. He gently pulled Dongmin onto his chest. ‘And here I was, thinking my life was miserable. I think I have changed my mind. Let us run away together.’_

_Dongmin wiped his tears and chuckled. ‘No. Thank you for your kind offer, Moon Bin-ssi, but no.’_

_‘Why not?’_

_Dongmin clenched his jaw. ‘Because I would be a fool to throw everything away that I have here. I am an only child; the day my father dies I will be able to do what I want. I will sell some land and buy my mother a house in Hanyang; she can spend the rest of her life there as a respectable widow, being close to her sister and her two nieces. They were more like two younger sisters to her; she was closer to them in many ways than to me or to my father. And I will be my own master. The younger families in the village like me; I have worked hard and made sure to treat everyone, not just people who have money. There are enough people here who don’t judge me for who my mother was. I will be fine. The only thing I need to do right now is to wait.’_

_‘Wow.’ There was a sad glint in Bin’s eyes. ‘You know, for someone so beautiful, you are as cold as a stone, Dongmin-ssi. I would have never guessed just by looking at you.’_

_He shrugged, turning away from something unsettling in Bin’s gaze – pity or hurt, he couldn’t say. ‘I know. My pretty face can fool everyone. But this is who I am. It helped me to survive.’_

_He was glad for Bin’s arms that held him close. A tight knot in his chest was unravelling and there was a real danger he might start sobbing like a child._

_‘We can still run away, you know,’ Bin pressed a kiss in his hair. ‘If you change your mind.’_

_He disentangled himself from Bin’s embrace, a strange pull tugging at something in his chest. ‘I don’t want to run away. That’s not what I want right now.’_

_‘What do you want?’_

_Underneath him, Bin’s eyes were huge reflecting the soft clouds of flowers and blue skies. ‘What do you want, Dongmin-ssi?’_

_He leaned lower. ‘You said today felt unreal. Like a dream. I guess if it’s true I, too, can say what I think right now.’_

_‘What is it?’_

_By now, he was so close he felt Bin’s breath on his lips. ‘I wonder how it would feel if I kissed you.’_

_Bin’s eyes grew darker, the light of the sky and cherry blossoms in them covered by Dongmin’s shadow. ‘Would you like to find out?’_

_If felt gentle at first, like butterfly wings and children’s cheeks, soft and pillowy._

_But when Bin wound his arms around Dongmin’s waist and pressed their bodies together, a hot wave rose in Dongmin’s chest like a tide and he drank from Bin’s lips, an answer that was wet and warm and scorching at the same time, and didn’t quench Dongmin’s thirst at all, leaving him wanting more._

_…………………………_

_‘I love you.’_

_Dongmin chuckled sleepily. ‘You don’t know me. How can you love someone without knowing a single thing about them?’_

_‘You never loved just because? Because you fell in love?’_

_Bin stretched in the soft grass and Dongmin couldn’t help but running his fingers over the smooth skin of his chest._

_‘But it’s silly. How can you fall in love with a person when you don’t know who they are? It’s rather superficial, don’t you think?’_

_‘I know things about you though,’ Bin smiled softly and caught Dongmin’s hand. He started kissing his fingertips, one by one._

_‘Like what?’_

_‘You have gentle hands,’ Bin planted a kiss into Dongmin’s palm. ‘You don’t want to cause pain. I bet you will be a great doctor.’_

_Dongmin reddened and tried to prise his hand away but Bin didn’t let go._

_‘I’m not done yet,’ he smiled. ‘You like animals. You took care of my horse even if you didn’t have to - you are kind.’_

_Bin rolled over onto his stomach and rubbed his cheek against Dongmin’s shoulder._

_‘And you were not afraid to kiss a stranger in the middle of a field; that’s brave. You are braver than you think.’_

_‘Or foolish.’_

_The way Bin looked at him made Dongmin want to bury his face in Bin’s hair and close his eyes and forget about everything else._

_‘Does it matter, Min?’_

_‘What?’_

_‘Foolish or brave – isn’t that the same thing sometimes?’_

_‘I don’t know.’_

_‘Are you foolish enough to kiss me again?’_

_……………….…………_

_He woke up when the cool air crept over his skin, like a cold hand slowly running up his spine._

_Scrambling to sit up, he needed a moment to remember whey they were; around them the shadows were lengthening and the cherries above their heads looked grey in the falling dusk._

_Next to him, Bin was still asleep, limbs sprawled on the blanket, Dongmin’s hanbok thrown over him._

_Panic rose in his throat, bitter like bile, and he shook Bin’s shoulder. ‘Binnie! Wake up! Binnie!’_

_Bin’s eyes flew open. ‘What- What is it?’_

_‘It’s late. You need to go back.’_

_Understanding dawned in Bin’s gaze. His face fell and he sat up without a word._

_Dongmin started shaking. ‘It’s my fault, forgive me… You need to hurry-‘_

_‘But-‘_

_‘There is no time.’ He avoided Bin’s eyes as he handed him his clothes. ‘Quick.’_

_…………………………._

_‘Can I… Can I see you again?’ Bin’s hands were clutching the reins as if his life depended on it._

_Dongmin steadied himself against the gate. ‘I don’t know. You are somebody; you will be newly married. If people find out… ‘_

_‘But…’_

_‘This was nothing,’ Dongmin gulped down a cold heavy lump. ‘You need to go back to your life and become an important man.’_

_‘I don’t care,’ Bin whispered harshly. ‘This is something! It might be small but it is something!’_

_Bin crouched down suddenly. At their feet was an oak sapling, its tender pale leaves quivering gently as he stroked them gently with his finger._

_‘See? Sometimes things start small,’ he whispered, eyes on Dongmin. ‘But that doesn’t mean they can't grow into something… more?’_

_Dongmin knelt down and prayed the tears will not start dripping on the delicate leaves._

_‘If you want – this can be our tree? I will look after it – for us. Alright? I will plant it in our garden and every time I look at it, I will think of you.’_

_‘Don’t do this,’ Bin shook his head. ‘Please.’_

_‘You need to go back, Binnie. You have a life that will mean something one day. I can't be a part of it.’_

_‘Please?’_

_‘If you still want to, come back next year. When the cherries are blossoming again. Come and check on us,’ he eased the sapling out of the dirt and cupped it in his palms, glad to have something else to fix his gaze upon, anxious to avoid seeing the pain in Bin’s eyes._

_‘Please, Min.’_

_‘Go, Binnie. I mustn't ruin your life.’_

_‘Please.’_

_‘Go. Your bride is waiting for you. Tomorrow is your big day.’_

_He helped Bin into the saddle, watched with hitched brows as he carefully slid the hurt foot in the stirrup._

_‘Is your foot going to be alright?’_

_‘It will be fine, Min. Can you, please-‘_

_‘Come back next year, Binnie. I will want to hear everything about you. You might be a father by then.’_

_He swallowed down his tears. ‘Go.’_

_The hooves rang dull on the hard, dried-up mud, long after Bin disappeared around the bend._

_In the middle of the road, he clutched the oak sapling in his hands, the pale green of its leaves becoming more and more blurry._

…………………………

‘But I don’t want to go inside, Mother. Grandfather hasn’t finished his story.’

‘Are the cherries in bloom yet? He should be coming soon.’

One look at Dongmin told Sohye that the fairy tale was long forgotten in the foggy recesses of her grandfather’s mind and a cold invisible hand clutched uncomfortably at her chest. She knelt down and stroked her daughter’s soft cheek.

‘Your great-grandfather is tired, my girl,’ she smiled. ‘He will finish tomorrow. Look, there comes your grandmother. She needs to bring him inside. In you go; I’ll be with you in a minute.’

Dongmin looked up. ‘Is Binnie coming soon?’

_Binnie._

The name was somewhere there, in her childhood memories, and Sohye felt a shiver rippling down her spine.

She hurriedly patted Jisoo’s shoulder and pushed her gently towards the house. ‘Go in, my flower.’

Jisoo frowned for a moment but Sohye arched her eyebrow. ‘Time to go in. Great-grandfather will finish the story tomorrow after breakfast.’

After her daughter disappeared in the house, Sohye cast a cautious look over her shoulder where Dongmin was sitting quietly again, absentmindedly stroking the blanket. ‘Mother, do you remember anyone visiting grandfather - you know, when I was little?’

Her mother sighed. ‘Your grandfather always had lots of visitors – he used to be highly respected in the village. All his patients loved him. You can't expect me to remember everyone who have been to our house over the years.’

‘I know, Mother, I know,’ Sohye interrupted her hastily. She was chasing a memory in her mind, as fleeting as a morning mist, and angry with herself for not being able to catch it fully, for not remembering more.

‘I know we always had lots of visitors. But this man was different. Or at least I think he was; it’s all so hazy. I don’t remember seeing him in the house; they always sat outside and drank their tea here, under the oak tree. I think grandfather used to call him Binnie – no honorifics, just Binnie. So strange; don’t you remember? And there always used to be a jug with cherry blossoms on the table when he came. They looked so pretty. Do you remember who he was? The man? He must have stopped coming at some point because I don’t remember him much at all. And grandfather never mentioned him – only lately, since he’s been, well, confused.’

‘Your grandfather doesn’t know what year is it anymore,’ huffed her mother irritably. ‘But he is more than ready to accuse me of hiding his books.’

‘Mother,’ chided her Sohye gently. ‘It’s not grandfather’s fault that he had a stroke.’

‘No, I know it’s not,’ grumbled her mother wearily. ‘And it’s not my fault that I have to suffer all his moods.’

‘I know, Mother, I know,’ Sohye patted her shoulder soothingly. ‘If you want to, you go inside and I will bring him in. But you really don’t remember the man? Not at all?’

‘But of course I remember him!’ her mother rolled her eyes a little. ‘Minister Moon.’

‘What?’

Her mother leaned closer and lowered her voice a little. ‘Oh, it was all very hushed – but yes, once a year, your grandfather drank tea with Minister Moon. He was the Minister for Defence at the time. God only knows how the two have met. Always came during the cherry blossom season; I remember that much.’

‘Good Lord,’ giggled Sohye, stunned. ‘One of Joseon’s high-ranking officials drinking tea in our back garden? Who would have thought?’

‘Don’t even talk about it,’ her mother’s voice rose in indignation. ‘Your grandfather’s silly insistence on sitting in the windy garden and not even offering the Minister proper refreshments! Grandmother and I were always ashamed!’

Sohye patted her mother’s arm. ‘I am sure Minister Moon didn’t mind. They were clearly old friends and wanted to catch up.’

‘Yes,’ sighed her mother a little more softly. ‘Them two always talked for hours. You would sometimes walk over and sit on your grandfather’s lap. Don’t you remember?’

‘I do!’ gasped Sohye. ‘Once, they gave me some of the cherry blossoms to play with and I think I fell asleep on my grandfather’s knees.’

Sohye ran a weary hand over her face.

‘What a strange day,’ she whispered. ‘So many memories. So many things I haven’t thought about in years.’

She shook her head a little, as if to rid herself of stray thoughts and eyed her mother. ‘But what happened to Minister Moon? Why did he stop coming?’

‘Oh, don’t you start too,’ her mother rolled her eyes again. ‘Father has been asking about him almost every day since the stroke. I don’t think I can deal with it anymore.’

‘But, Mother,’ Sohye grabbed her hand. ‘I shall not pester you with more questions but tell me, what happened to him?’

‘He is dead, Sohye,’ her mother sighed wearily. ‘He died eighteen years ago.’

‘Oh.’

Something cold clutched at Sohye’s heart.

‘I had no idea,’ she whispered unhappily.

Her mother’s eyes softened. ‘You wouldn’t have; you were only nine when he died.’

‘I can't believe it. No wonder he talks about him so often now. They must have been really good friends.’

‘I’m sure they were – but it’s been nearly twenty years now. Now stop fretting and come. We need to take grandfather in. It’s getting chilly. It’s not good for his arthritis.’

‘I shall do it, Mother,’ Sohye smiled hastily. ‘You go and have a rest.’

Her mother hesitated for a moment, then gave Sohye a wobbly smiled back. ‘Thank you.’

Without a word, Sohye watched her mother return to the house.

The dusk was wrapping the garden in soft shadows and she stood there in silence for a while, feeling the chill of the evening settling on her skin, then headed towards the old oak tree at the back.

‘Grandfather,’ she called out softly.

Hunched in his chair, Dongmin placed a shaking hand on the bark of the old oak tree.

‘Grandfather, it’s time to come in; it is getting rather cold.’

Dongmin didn’t look up. His trembling fingers were tracing the deep ridges in the bark.

‘I miss you, Binnie,’ he whispered. 'I should have told you that I loved you – but I never did, did I? I never did. What a coward I was.’

Sohye came to a halt, like being stopped by an invisible hand. She clutched at her chest.

‘Grandfather?’

Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

Dongmin looked up and it hurt Sohye more than ever to see the confusion on his face.

‘Are the cherries in bloom yet, child?’

She gulped down uneasily. ‘Soon, Grandfather. Any day now.’

‘Good,’ his chin wobbled a little. ‘He will come then.’

Sohye knelt down in front of his chair and took his hands in hers. ‘He will, Grandfather. He will come very soon.’

Tears started rolling down Dongmin’s face. ‘Do you think I should tell him? I never did. He never knew. He told me that he loved me but I never said anything back. Should I tell him when he comes?’

She gently stroked the wrinkled skin of his hands. ‘Yes, I think you should.’

‘I was afraid; I was such a coward. He never knew I loved him.’

‘I’m sure he knew.’

‘Do you think so?’ the eyes meeting her were pathetically grateful.

‘I think so. Sometimes words are not needed.’

‘You are a wise girl,’ Dongmin gave her a small smile.

‘Thank you, Grandfather.’

His features clouded again. ‘I know you, right? Who are you? What’s- What’s your name?’

She gulped down. ‘I’m Sohye, Grandfather. Your youngest granddaughter.’

‘Sohye. What a beautiful name. I always liked that name.’

She smiled through the tears. ‘You picked it for me.’

She rubbed his bony knee through the wool of the blanket; marvelled how small, how fragile he felt when in the memories of her childhood his tall frame used to loom over everyone around.

‘It’s getting cold outside, Grandfather; let’s go in.’

‘Let me sit here for a while more, child,’ Dongmin tipped his head back, gaze lost in the darkening mass of green above. ‘I love the feel of cherry blossoms on my face. I never get tired of it.’

Sohye wiped the wetness off her cheeks. ‘Of course, Grandfather. I will be back in five minutes.’

Dongmin didn’t hear her. The whiteness felt pleasantly cool on his face, like freshly fallen snow.

‘Ah,’ he smiled and closed his eyes. ‘I knew you would come, Binnie. Stop hiding behind that tree.’

Somewhere high above, the cherry blossoms started falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my grandmother.


End file.
